I came across a quote on a Facebook page I frequent. The phrase, “Choose your hard,” is attributed to a poem by Devon Brough which offers examples of choosing the “hard” that leads to positive outcomes over the “hard” that results in suffering.
As a writer who is constantly seeking inspiration, and as a person with lived severe mental illness who has endured many challenges, and just as a human being living in turbulent times, this quote resonated with me because it asks us to be intentional about the choices we make in our lives.
Life will always present us with challenges. We can choose either to avoid them or to face them. Rather than trying to avoid difficulty in our lives, it’s possible to have an active role in which difficult situation we choose to engage.
When (or if) we decide to choose the difficult path, that is being intentional.
Why should we choose our hard? Usually, the more difficult choice is the ones that in the long run will yield the greatest benefits—the ones that most closely align with our values and our goals. If we desire to be a CEO, then chances are we cannot get there without getting an MBA and studying hard. As psychologist Harry Cohen writes, “Our intentions give us an invaluable sense of purpose and control. “
It’s as though our intentions set for each of us our unique North Star that guides us and helps us navigate through challenging times. Remaining faithful to our North Star will help us stay on track to overcome any adversities we may face along the way.
For example, my intention right now is to perform excellently at the position to which I was recently promoted. Before I was promoted, over July 4 weekend, I was hospitalized with a condition known as takotsubo cardiomyopathy, which was triggered by low potassium and extreme dehydration. My North Star is to ensure that upper management views me as reliable, which requires that I continue to show up for work and don’t need any further medical admissions. My challenge is to eat and drink healthfully, making smart choices to ensure that my potassium and other electrolytes stay in the normal range and that I don’t become dehydrated.
According to a Decision Lab post on intentionality, “Based on the relationship between intentionality and attributions, it is evident that intentionality plays an important role in our behavioral decisions. In fact, intentions have been found to be a necessary precondition for decision making, as they help us define problems and guide the search for alternatives. It can therefore be argued that deliberate action planning consists of more than decision making alone: before making a decision, we must choose what to decide.”
We will continually be choosing our hard throughout our lives. Just as one situation seems to resolve, another more challenging one will pop up. That’s just the way life works. Sometimes there may be overlap or even simultaneous situations and we may feel overwhelmed. Remember to breathe and go back to the basics of setting your intention(s). Once we have established an intention that is consistent with our values and goals, we are well on our way.