In my last post, I wrote about waiting for a decision from a memoir incubator program to which I had applied and how badly I wanted an acceptance. I have since received the fateful email, and I was rejected. I read the email both on my phone and later on my computer, as if the content might change.
I felt personally rejected. I’m writing my life story, baring my soul. If they are rejecting my writing, then they are rejecting me. I felt incredibly demoralized. How will I continue with not only the first draft but the endless revisions ahead?
I emailed my writing instructor, who has supported me through the inception of this project, and she wrote back, “Oh NO. I’m so sorry, Andrea. You will find a way for this incredible book to get published. I know it! xoxo.” I enrolled in another class with her where we workshop 50 pages at a time. That is an unusual pace. In most workshops, writers workshop about 15 pages when it is their turn.
In a Psychology Today post on “The Value of Rejection,” author Gregg Levoy writes, “Rejection is so fundamentally a part of the risk-taking involved in pursuing passions and callings—of success itself—that if you don’t have a fairly high threshold for it (and aren’t willing to learn from your mistakes), you’re going to find yourself avoiding the challenges that lead to growth.”
I’m used to rejection. My page on Submittable — an online portal used by many publishers — basically consists of one rejection after another. But the rejection by the incubator program sent me into a brief tailspin. When I asked myself why, it was because I had convinced myself I needed this program to complete my book, that there was no other way. I kept telling myself I was already at a disadvantage as a writer because I lacked an MFA, so this program was the next best thing.
When I climbed out about a week later, I realized there are more avenues to writing a memoir than this incubator program. In a different Psychology Today post, author Rod Judkins writes, “How a person deals with rejection determines whether they will ultimately be a success or failure. Rejection is unavoidable in a creative life. Rejection somehow strengthens the resolve of highly successful people. It seems to invigorate them. Rejection injures even the most able and dedicated creative person, but those who are ultimately successful don’t take it personally.”
I’ve applied to three other non-fiction programs, and I’m waiting to hear. They are even more competitive than the incubator program, so I’m not getting my hopes up. Regardless of the outcome, I’m glad I gave it a shot. My best shot. As Levoy writes, “You have to think through not only how you’d feel about yourself if you got rejected (and why you’d feel that way), but how you’d feel about yourself if you never tried—or if you got accepted.”
Words to live by.